I found a file on my external hard drive, it's full of dreams. Years of my dreams. I had been posting to my main blog over the years and decided to compile them all into one epic saga of brain gibberish. I put them here more for my own enjoyment than for anyone else's, as I have an unnatural obsession with my nocturnal mind dramas. Sometimes they give me inspiration for a poem. I hope this way they won't be lost.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
sunday night: i was coming out of 7-11 with some nachos and a surge (remember surge? i miss those). as i was coming out, two wild jungle-looking dudes with bloody machetes were going in (apparently they didn't see me coming out). they killed everyone inside. i could see body parts flying around and blood squirting from decapitated heads. the whole works. i stood there frozen, clutching my nachos and surge, staring in the front window. as soon as they were done, they looked up and saw me. one pointed his machete at me and mouthed "you're dead." then i woke up.
monday night: i was in the bathroom at night, drying off from a shower. i heard some crazy noises out in the hall. my son screaming (he screams sometimes when he's happy). my dad shouting. things hitting the walls. i was in the bathroom for a half hour hearing all this while i got dressed and put on makeup. when i finally poked my head out to see what the fuck was going on -- my dad's decapitated head rolled down the hall. i looked down the hall into the living room and saw the two men with machetes. there was a pile of bloody body parts behind them. then i woke up.
last night: i was a bird! this one started off great. i was flying through clouds with everyone else i have ever known. we were all magically transformed into birds and all of us were having the times of our lives. apparently, however, there was a trick to landing that none of us knew about, and the clouds were a lot lower than we thought. most of us hit the ground and died. i survived, but my family didn't. when we hit the ground, we were turned back into humans, and from the twisted mass of bodies, i'd say only 10% of us survived. out of thousands of people. then i woke up.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
so i was at some random house babysitting (?) i guess, but the owner of the home was there and i'm not sure where the children were. anyway, there was a knock on the door and the guy that lived there answered and BOOM it was charlie sheen. he wanted to come in but the dude wouldn't let him, there was a scuffle and charlie ended up shooting the guy. and being the sheen fan that i am, i offered to help him hide the body. so we rolled the dead guy up in a rug and hid him (this is smart) in one of the CLOSETS. haha. nobody would think to look THERE. haha.
so i take off with charlie in his car and he tells me that no one would find us if we moved to france. and i was all for it "i've never been to another country before, this is gonna rock." so we got on a plane, and when we get to france, one of my friends from WA is there waiting for us. turns out she lived in france at the time and said we could stay with her. then i was like FUCK i forgot my son!
like i could forget davey. gawd.
but i get back on the plane and tell them i'll be right back (apparently the plane ride only took an hour or so. i was riding SUPER PLANE) and went to pick up davey at my parents' house. and they were asking me why i was taking davey to france.
i told them i wanted to study abroad.
*hides face in hands*
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
my dad ate a 5 year old package of oriental flavor ramen and got disgusted so we all went to walmart but once we got there i was mortified because i realized i was still wearing my pajamas but i didn't notice until i took my sweater-jacket off.
i was looking at pink jelly shoes (the kind i used to wear when i was, like, 6) and got mad because they only had a size 9 in men’s (men’s????) and then for some reason i got all exited over these plain white canvas doctor scholl's shoes with the gel insert in them, and i thought i know the gel insert didn't work when i tried them before, but maybe they'll work better if they're in actual doctor scholl's shoes.
then, i don't know if this is later on in the same dream or just a different dream, i was walking through old town winchester but it was like a war zone and there were police everywhere and gangsta looking dudes shooting and lighting firecrackers but i had to walk through it to get home, so i decide the best way to go would be to just walk directly through this shootout in the road, or it might've been the walking mall. so i start walking through and the shooting stops and the gangstas and the police just stare at me as if i'm dangerous.
at one point i heard the police whisper "i think she's concealing fireworks" and i realize they must think my snickers bar is a weapon and i get scared that they'll shoot me so i just hold my hand up (snickers and all) and walk the rest of the way through, and when i get to the crossroad (i am now up against a building shimmying to the street, ready to run the rest of the way home), i look around the corner of the building and there is this big butch woman with a buzz cut and a gun telling me she's got my back and to run for it.
Monday, April 25, 2005
i was back in community college, only taking 2 classes. my calculus teacher was my high school bio teacher (scary dude that i always thought resembled a rat), and my psych teacher was kevin anderson, who played ben, the drama teacher guy from Sleeping With the Enemy. i accidentally went to my psych class 3 times in one day. some guy in psych made a presentation about why he thought the teacher was the antichrist, and he had all these overhead slides from the movie Sleeping With the Enemy of him dancing with Julia Roberts (though i'm not sure how that was supposed to prove his point). mandy (my bestest friend) was there, and i would walk around and talk to her between classes, and for some reason, it was dark out.
there was a big gym with a ramp going up it, and one of my male friends (though i don't remember who) had to lead this college tour for a group of starving third world children who were all wearing loincloths. so i started walking and talking with him and when i looked back, i realized the children were sneaking away from him and running back into the gym.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
i was working at some type of computer store warehouse type place in winchester, but all the people i worked with at hastings in WA were working there. for some reason we were all trying to recover from some type of massive theft. we were all there til at least midnight, except me and a few other people who stayed til after 1am. i had to give this girl a ride home. when we headed out to the parking lot, there were three vehicles parked, kind of spread out. one was my mom in her minivan. she had been babysitting davey and was going to follow me home (home? not sure where i live in this dream, i guess in winchester...which started to look more and more like kennewick, WA) and drop davey off.
i crossed to the other side of the parking lot to my van (i'm driving a full size van in this dream, WTF). the chick and i got into the van and before i could start it, the driver's side door flies open and a man's arm goes around my neck and i'm yanked out of the van. the dude held a gun to my head. for some reason he thought i was the other chick, who was his ex-girlfriend. and that's all i remember.
Monday, May 09, 2005
um. something about rafts and pirates, and um... i think the plan was to start at virginia beach and just...raft to brazil. but it was ok, because i had a pirate with me. i'm pretty sure it was johnny depp. and then we stopped in this town where there was a hostage situation going on with small children involved, and i went in and saved one of them.
ghaaaa, the rest is gone.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
there was this huge hotel, i was up in some sort of boardroom with a big group of people, the only person from it i can remember is Julia Roberts. we were discussing this killer, well, debating if he was a killer or not. he didn't actually kill people but he...well i guess he did kill them, he just had no physical contact at all with his victims. he would predict when and where they would die but he wasn't really predicting, somehow he was causing it. he told everyone in the room (except for me) that he knew they were all going to die that night, so me and...i don't remember who else, it could have been mandy, had to run around trying to save all these people and had to watch them just fall down at the exact time the guy said they would die, it was uber weird. i remember julia roberts just collapsed on her way to an elevator.
then i was with...i guess it was supposed to be in some way, my family since it felt that way, but i honestly don't think i knew the people, i was at this house with my supposed "family" and we were all waiting up for my cousin who went out to celebrate her 21st birthday with my older cousin (who actually was my cousin, becky). i was sitting in some type of sun porch, the type my grandparents had before grandpa died and grandma moved up the hill to the woods. these two snakes came in through the window and one of them had this HUGE lump, like it ate a cat or something, and they both had these massive fangs and one of them tried wrapping around my leg, but it wasn't squeezing or anything, it was like it was just trying to say hello. after that i kind of thought it was cute, but the other one with the cat-lump still scared the shit out of me.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
i was at a university, and i wasn't me but some other girl. it was weird because i could think for myself, but i couldn't control her, i could only hear her thoughts and watched her do things from her POV. a friend of mine from high school was there, and both he and the girl were competing for some type of scientific award, but my friend was trying to steal ideas from this girl.
then, for some reason, all of that was over, things flashed into the future, and the girl had won the award. she was then at this river learning how to swim with another girl from the university, and all the sudden the river started bubbling, like boiling, and steam or something started rising from it. the girl's friend said, "i smell sulfur," and they both ran into the woods screaming, "THE ACID WILL KILL US ALL!!"
the girl's friend collapsed and died. the girl kept running through the woods and then, mind you i was still seeing from the chicks POV, we emerged from the trees, arriving at the mall in winchester. and i was back to being me all of a sudden.
my brother was there. for some reason he offered to buy me popcorn from a popcorn stand in the mall. i was like "sure" but what i didn't know was that they bagged the popcorn and sat it on a remote controlled car and you had to chase it around the mall to get it. my brother had a good laugh. at my expense. that almost sounds like real life, though.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
i was visiting at my old high school, at a drama class. not the same drama teacher as i had in high school but i saw him there, only he looked more like richard dreyfuss. this drama teacher i was visiting, she read my palm and then had me pass out papers or something, and i was like "wtf, i'm only visiting you, I’m not part of the class" and she was like "but it's in your palm, you are my helper"
after that i roamed the halls, and instead of the ratty looking yellow paint from when i went there, there was carpet on the walls. there were little tv's at each corner playing a video that made it look like they were little fireplaces. and all the lockers were digital or something, all the students had little key cards. it was all high tech. i was jealous.
then the kids started going home, and i noticed all these wicked awesome cars parked in the field next to where the city busses parked, they were all "pimped out" or whatever, but i saw this awesome one, it was a hearse and it had a bed in the back, and i saw one of the kids just hop in it and go to sleep instead of going home, it was so weird.
then i guess i had to take the city bus home, but it was getting dark and i had a hard time finding the 26 bus (at least i think that's what bus it was) to take me to the transit center, there were like, 30 city busses parked outside the school, so somehow i ended up getting on an airplane.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
there was a lot of family over. everyone was trying to wake me up but i just couldn't. i looked around my bedroom and i had mountains of trash, junk, and broken electronics piled everywhere. it was a disgusting junkyard. davey and some of my cousins were in on my floor watching TV. i realized i was sleeping naked and had to convince them to leave the room before i got out of bed.
flash forward to the car. we were all driving somewhere long distance. maybe iowa? i really dunno. but we were all in our own cars, so there was a trail of maybe 12 cars or so following each other. i had a friend of mine from WA with me (who i call 'horsefuckah'), which actually didn't seem so weird because VA and WA had melded together into one place.
we stopped in some parking lot to stretch, and my brother pushed me outta my car and said he was gonna drive, and that i could go drive his minivan. his death-metal-redneck buddy was with him, and they just took off with davey and horsefuckah still in the backseat. i got all pissed off and got into my brother's minivan and followed them.
everyone started pulling over, as if they heard a siren or something, but i couldn't hear or see anything of the sort. i couldn't find a place to pull over, either, so i had to keep going all slow. my asshole brother's voice came barking through a CB radio on the floor, "pull over or speed up, idiot, whaddaya think you're doing?" i saw my car in front of me, my brother had pulled over also. i was confused. i watched horsefuckah jump outta the car and run to a house across the road. WTF...
apparently we never made it to where we were going, because all the sudden we were all back at home. i asked WTF happened to horsefuckah, and my brother told me he went to go visit my friend, princess. then i went down in the basement and got this really old black and white TV/radio, took it upstairs to my room to fix it. then i watched sesame street.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
1. working at hastings, but they were going out of business so the stock was almost gone and there were crowds of people fighting over things. adria felt a ghost presence and freaked out, took her into backroom and she talked about a dead black lady that was standing over her, so we all talked to it. attached to the backroom was a holding room for shoplifters and it was full of mexican families for some reason. they hadn't even shoplifted, so i didn't know why they were there. there were armed security guards everywhere, though.
2. new grocery store, my mom and i were getting a tour before it opened, and the guy was showing us the self-checkout stand, like it was some brand new thing. but for some reason he told my mom that no one was allowed to checkout diet foods or diet soda through this line.
3. daniel playing guitar...but in my kitchen...which really wasn't even my kitchen because i didn't recognize it but in the dream it was mine because my mom was in the other room. and for some reason there were those little toys you win a the fair or at amusement parks laying all over the place.
4. cops looking for a murderer in the woods, so i go out for a walk down this little path...through the woods and see this dude wearing a suit and tie, but holding a cardboard shield and sword covered in foil. he was just lurking in the shadows, he wasn't trying to attack anyone.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
i was dana scully, FBI agent from the x-files. i had followed this guy to a hotel where i watched him make out with an older businessman. i was going to arrest him for gay prostitution. so after he left the hotel, i followed him to a church, but inside it turned out to be a movie theater, but people were in there praying. i waited out in my car and caught him on the way out. then for some reason i drove him to his house to get a change of clothes. i let the guy go in alone, but he ran straight through the house, to the back door and out to his car parked in the back. somehow i knew he would do this and i was waiting for him by his car, and then i handcuffed him.
different dream (possibly) i was in a big shower (not mine) and looked down to see these things that resembled giant tapeworms swimming around my feet. this is actually all i remember.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
i was out at this gas station/used car lot that looked a lot like a Sheetz but twice as big. it was late evening and i was there with my brother. he was trying to talk down the price of an old school bus. apparently i was really interested in buying one.
next dream. i had just been hired on with a landscaping company, along with this really airheaded teenage boy. we were both supposed to be working laying grass seed down at some guy's house. i was to do the backyard, and he was to do the front yard. when i finished in the back, i came around front to see if the doofus was almost done. i rounded the corner and he sprayed me with the hose, trying to be funny. then i noticed that instead of grass seed, he had laid down Legos and little plastic toys. i was like, "NO!!" and ran around gathering them up before the boss saw.
Friday, September 02, 2005
a mob guy that lived on my street kidnapped davey. he kept my mom and i and two other women locked in the empty master bedroom of one of the houses on the street. the windows overlooked all the backyards. it was halloween and there was a big corn maze out back with lots of kids running around in costumes. davey was dressed like a ghost. and he was having fun. my mom still had her cell phone and slipped into the bathroom to call someone. i wondered why they let her keep her cell phone.
i started describing all the physical pain i was going to inflict on the mob guy if i ever came face to face with him. the guy had two bodyguards, and apparently he didn't pay them or something, so they turned on him. they grabbed the guy and dragged him upstairs to me, holding his arms so he could hardly move. i beat the SHIT out of the guy. he was bloodied beyond recognition. i got davey back. it turned out this guy had a wife and a child of his own, but he left them, moved further down the street and started kidnapping children. i saw his wife on the news begging him to come back to her.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
i was working at a supermarket...cleaning the floors. i didn't like it (big surprise there). i went home, then the next day, i got a phone call. i could hardly understand the person on the other end, so for some reason i just assumed it was someone from the supermarket calling me in to work. i was like, "sure, ok." a little bit later, an amish dude came up to the house. apparently he had sold me a car the day before (HA, an amish car salesman, gawd) and he said that it was in the contract that since he sold the car to me, i had to marry him. we were standing in the front yard talking. i was trying to back slowly into the house so i could run in and lock the door. i was trying to tell him that's not the way things work, and i would just sell him the car back in that case, and he was like, "no, no, my mother has it all arranged."
Saturday, October 08, 2005
new orleans had been rebuilt. but instead of a city, it was being advertised that it had been changed into a giant theme park. everyone wanted to go, but were having a hard time getting in. i saw people in lines on foot waiting to get into the airports and bus stations to get to new orleans. so i hopped in line. dani and rachel were there. apparently people just got in line and were told whether they were going to fly to new orleans or take a bus. the line was moving past my house (which was not really my house now, but it was in the dream). people were trying to break in through my windows, so i had to get out of line and run back to pry them away from the windows. i had some kind of alarm system i rigged, hooked up to my stereo. i got back in line to find out we were flying to new orleans.
i don't remember the plane trip. it was almost as if we were beamed there. the theme park was based on the hurricane devastation whatnot. the city didn't look entirely different, there was still wrecked and flooded houses and buildings, the only difference being that now people were laughing and swimming around in it and having fun.
i think i just drove home after that. i don't know how my car got there, and for some reason it took only about 20 minute to drive from there back to virginia. i stopped by some house to show some kid the proper way to throw a boomerang, which didn't really look like a boomerang, but was chicken shaped. but it worked as a boomerang. i threw it too hard and it went down their chimney. then i took off real fast in my car.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
was working at stupid office max, but it was sooooo much bigger, and there was some different asshole guy in charge that kept yelling at me. there were more people working there and 20 times the amount of customers that normally shop there.
flash forward a few days. the store changed managers and for some reason they moved most of the stuff out of the store and only carried a few things, like paper and pencils and pens and notebooks, etc, making the store about the size of my bedroom, with one register. everyone but me, some other dude and of course the new manager, was fired. we sat around all day contemplating whether we should move the store into the mall, since it was so small.
then i was in Staples, something to do with working at office max, i dunno, but i started complaining because in the middle of all the office supplies, there was one of those refrigerated food islands, like they keep the pre made sammiches in at the wal mart deli. i was yelling at them, because all they had in it was turkey. not sammiches, either. big whole turkeys. i was like, "not everybody likes turkey, y'know! you're discriminating against ham eaters!"
next dream. saw my old friend from high school in walmart, she had gone completely bonkers, and apparently walmart had valet parking, because i went to go get my car but i didn't know where it was parked and all the people doing the valet parking were having sex with each other in the parking lot.
Monday, October 17, 2005
i was in an abandoned hospital in the middle of a shopping center parking lot in winchester. it was the middle of the night and no one was around. i was by myself, pregnant and in labor. i delivered my own baby. afterwards, my dad showed up, and was like, "well that's great, what's it's name." i was like, "hm," and turned the baby upside-down to see if it was a boy or a girl. "Lucy Jane." i got home and the neighbors were having some sort of wake in their front yard, there was a bunch of people dressed in black. i went inside the house and realized i didn't have any diapers for lucy. it was as if i didn't prepare at all for having a baby. so my brother and his girlfriend (who looked like his old girlfriend) went out to get diapers. i let davey hold his baby sister. he was so happy and carrying her all over the house. i don't know how i had the baby, it was like immaculate conception.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
first dream: chillin on the beach with Daniel...and one of the giant fruit guys from the Fruit of the Loom commercials. the sky looked all fake. we were all trying to think up something to dream about. i think i realized it was a dream, but i don't recall any more of it.
second dream : i was at this theatre. but instead of a play, there was supposedly celebrity gymnastics going on, and Paris Hilton was on the rings (the ones that are normally in men's gymnastics). the chick she was competing against apparently had a fight with her and dropped out of the competition, so they were looking for someone in the audience to stand in.
this lady and her little white dog volunteered. she resembled Camryn Manheim. she was wearing a white dress. she did an interpretive dance, slayed on the rings and won the competition. afterwards, i partied with the theater people. it was like i was old friends of theirs. we were sitting around and telling stories.
i was trying to play matchmaker with some of them and hooked up Cameron Diaz with some creepy stagehand. well, when everyone got drunk, the creepy stagehand started telling us how he killed all these people, like women and lots of children. when he described them, we all had these sort of flashbacks and could actually see him doing them.
he told us how he killed his dad when he was little and we all saw how he did it. he had this gun that looked like a toy, and he was in the car with his dad and little brother, and the babysitter. he and the sitter got out of the car at the post office, but he got back in and shot his dad in the head.
we were trying to act like we were still his buddies because we didn't want to be next, but as soon as he left, i followed him to this junkyard and beat the crap out of him with a shovel. the dude died and i tied him up in a trash bag.
a trash guy came by and i made small talk with him while i sneakily popped the bag with the dead dude in it (which for some reason was really lightweight) into the back of the trash man's truck.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
i was still in high school, and in some type of gang, with a bunch of girls i've known throughout life. we all thought we were pretty badass. we were at an assembly/play in the auditorium and took off in the middle of it to smoke in the bathroom.
next dream, i was at heather's house with davey, (only it wasn't really heather's house that i remember from real life), and they had a big pool. davey was begging to go swimming so i let him, but then i realized i had no swimsuit for myself. i ended up walking out there to swim in my skivvies (in the dream, i was much smaller than i am now). when i got out to the pool, it turned out she was having a pool party and everyone turned and stared when i walked out of the door.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
it was night time, and i was in the town i grew up in, in northern virginia. i was trying to convince my two older brothers that i was dead but they wouldn't believe me. to prove it to them, i took them to our old church, a tiny methodist church with a small graveyard behind it. i showed them my grave and they finally believed that i was dead. we heard music coming from inside the church, even though it was past midnight, and took a peek inside. it was full of people singing hymns, and my parents were sitting in the front pew holding davey.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
i dreamed i was in high school, but was the same age i am now, and i went door to door to do this fundraiser, but instead of selling wrapping paper and cookies and whatnot, i was selling cups of coffee i had made and my poetry. i was still living in WA, with my parents. i went down the hill to where our old landlord normally lived, and i went up to the door and Benny Hinn opened it. he bought some coffee and a poem and sat there and talked with me for a while and funny enough, he never once talked about god or religion, he was just some nice normal guy, it was weird. when i got home i was upset because i was selling the coffee in my coffee mugs instead of styrofoam cups like i had planned to, and Benny Hinn had just taken my Nightmare Before Christmas mug.
then i was back in school and i was skipping every class and hanging out in the cafeteria, which for some reason looked like a Costco, but with no one shopping. there was a janitor setting up MP3 players and stereos on shelves. i followed him around talking to him, and he asked me why i was never in class, and i told him i didn't see the point of going to class when i had already graduated from high school seven years ago.
then i guess i was at home, my parents had just got home from shopping at Costco...i mean the high school (???) and my dad got all upset because they had picked up a huge two pack of ketchup when there was already some in the pantry. i was looking in the refrigerator and said i saw a bottle of ketchup in the back of the top shelf in there, also. but i grabbed it to show them, and apparently it was really old because the ketchup had turned white. everyone started gagging.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
first dream (is very hazy and vague).i remember driving around chasing some type of weird little car. i dunno what was so weird about it, just that it was not a normal car at all, and that it was very important that i catch it. then i was parked out front of a deserted movie theater at dusk. then i was in an underground parking lot. i got out of my car and a bomb went off.
next dream. i was in the mall, in Hot Topic. i had told my mom i was going to the theater to see a movie but i went to the mall to look for umbrellas instead. Hot Topic had a ton of umbrellas in the back. for some reason, there was no roof at the front corner of the store and it was raining in, really pouring. all the employees were standing under the hole in the roof, smoking and getting totally drenched. i saw a Little Mermaid dayplanner that i wanted. i looked at some christmas display they had and saw a coca cola bear music box thing that i bought for my mom. it was $27.
next dream. i was at home, chatting online and digging around in my closet at the same time. i found my mancala board in the back of my closet and got all excited for some reason, so i went to lappy and told the daniel, "i found my keyboard," and he says, "i thought you already found that," so i say, "i mean, i found my recorder," and he's like, "i thought you already found that, too." so finally i get it right and say i found my mancala board. but i realize that it doubles as a recorder (i dunno how) and i start playing songs on it.
then somehow, online, i had ordered our cat, Sandy...as a kitten. (???) i mean, Sandy was still here, it's just that somehow i was able to buy her like she was when she was a kitten. i walked by with it and big Sandy hissed at kitten Sandy. then i went into the kitchen with my mom, and our old cat, C.C. was sitting in there on the table. i put the kitten in front of him and he started rubbing up against it and licking it, and he let the kitten climb up on his back and sit on his neck.
Friday, January 06, 2006
i was moving out of my parents' house, except their house looked different and was much bigger. most of my stuff was up in the attic and i was afraid to go up because the hole in the ceiling to get up there was really small. then when i opened it up, all these spiders ran out and i ran. my dad said to go look for the bug spray in the back yard, so i went back there and saw a skunk. my dad came out and said it was his new pet, and the mofo was sitting right next to the bug spray, so when i went to get it, it sprayed me in the face. my dad thought that was the funniest thing ever. so i found my mom and rubbed up against her just to be an asshole.
next dream, i was driving up to my parents' house in a blizzard, and all the sudden people started skiing down the road and i had to dodge them.
Monday, January 23, 2006
i woke up and my parents were here. i dunno how they got in, since they don't have a key, but hey, it's a dream. anyways, my mom had cleaned my entire house, and they were just making sure i felt better, then they left.
i went outside to bring the trash can in from the road or something and some teenage girl rollerbladed over and decided to befriend me against my will, and then rollerbladed into my kitchen. i opened my fridge and had a bunch of shrimp in there. i was like...when did i buy shrimp. so then the girl is telling me her little sister is coming over, too, and that they're going to chill at my house until their mom shows up to take them to some church thing. i was too nice to tell her to get the hell out of my house. so her little 10 year old sister shows up with their mom and invites me to the church thing, and i give every excuse to get out of it, like, "I've got a lot of cleaning to do," which they didn't buy, because my house was already clean thanks to my mom. they got all upset because they thought i hated them, and the mom was like, "they're never coming over here again," which was a relief.
then an old friend of mine from WA showed up, apparently he was going to move in with me but i had forgotten all about it and i was so bummed that i wasn't going to have the house to myself. he set up some sort of hammock thing in the living room since i had taken up both of the bedrooms. then he set up a stereo and started blasting that In the Summertime song by Mungo Jerry and that was just plain weird. it was like he was mad at me or something because he wouldn't even talk to me at all, he just moved some of his stuff in and then sat out on the front porch avoiding me.
then one of my old best friends from WA showed up in the parking lot...which was in the front of the townhouses in my dream instead of in the back. she just sat in her car honking the horn, like she wanted me to go out there, but i didn't want to because my new roommate was sitting out on the front porch and i didn't want to be around him because he was mad at me. so she came in and gave me some housewarming present and starting dancing around my living room to the In the Summertime song, which was playing on a loop
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
i was outside a deserted roller rink. it was on the edge of the campus of my old high school. my old friend, michelle, was sitting on a bench with me, and both of us were dressed very goth. some guy came over to talk to us about being goth, he said he was from the newspaper. we agreed to talk to him, but he said he had things to do at the moment, but could we meet him there at that bench at midnight. we agreed.
i think we sat there the whole day, until this other dude showed up (i recognized him in the dream, but now i don't remember who it was) and apparently this was michelle's boyfriend. he had a couple other people with him, with which it seemed we were all friends, and we went into the roller rink. instead of a wood floor, there was ice down, so we all put on ice skates and little ice-skater outfits and went at it (i have never ice skated in my life, yet i was twirling around on the ice like a pro).
after awhile the random friends left and it was just michelle skating with her boyfriend, and me, the third wheel. i was getting all bummed and then this guy that i used to work with walked in and popped on some ice skates and started skating with me. it was like some kind of weird competition between michelle and i, like a skate-off, haha. it was just more awkward with me because i was taller than my skating partner.
then i guess the rink was closing and they forced us out really fast (there was just the four of us there, plus the guy working there) and i never got a chance to get dressed, i was still in my ice skating outfit, but everyone else was dressed and walking back out to the bench outside. my normal clothes were still inside the building as they were locking it up, so i was stuck looking like a fruitcake.
i tried calling the newspaper dude on my cell and didn't get an answer, and by then it seemed to be really late, like 3am of something. everyone else started to go home, and i started freaking out and crying for some reason. i hopped in a convertible and started driving like a drunk. somehow i turned into Elton John...i mean, i was still ME, i just looked like him...and i was still wearing the ice skating outfit. i wrecked the car down this steep hill beside the road somewhere. people heard it and came running saying, "look, it's elton john," i was so relieved that no one would know it was really me.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
i was at a high school photo shoot for their graduation. i was with my friend (who was only my friend in the dream, i never knew anyone like that in real life) and we were helping out. guys that i remember from high school were hanging out and hitting on the high school girls and getting their pictures taken with them.
after the photo shoot thing, i fell asleep at this house and had a dream about a cowboy trying to sleep in the woods and hide himself so he wouldn't get scalped by an indian (ahem...native american). one found him, but instead of being scared, the cowboy handed the indian a magic sledgehammer and he turned into the tin man from the wizard of oz. then the two of them played hide and seek.
i woke up...and then i don't remember much til i'm on this bus with my aforementioned friend and jared leto (although it wasn't actually jared leto in the dream, it just looked like him). it was like airplane seating, with three across and i was sitting in between the two of them. we all had headphones on and were listening to music. the bus driver stopped the bus and told everyone that she wasn't going anywhere until someone stopped tossing cans of green beans around. i caught some of the cans and stuffed them in my knapsack. jared leto was holding a kitten, and he was moving in all close to me so he could hear what music i was listening to. then i was like, "OH WOW, i just had the weirdest dream last night," and proceeded to tell them the dream about the cowboy and indian.
then we were all at my friends house, i guess she lived with her mom. she was telling leto and i all about her dad, he was a drug dealer and into gangs and all that. her mom pulled up to the house and told her that her dad had just been murdered. she seemed to be relieved and wanted to move away. so the three of us decided to move into the house that i had fallen asleep in earlier.
this was a house that i had dreamed of before, it was three stories, had a giant playroom and the upstairs bedroom was haunted. for some reason i thought it was my grandma's old house even though now that i'm awake i know it's not. i was terrified of the upstairs bedroom, it was evil. i had flashbacks of opening the door and things were flying around the room and the lights were really dim. the only light, actually, came from the bathroom at the far end of it.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
in my dream, charlie died. i was told he killed himself. his ghost was haunting downtown harrisonburg. i was in my car and saw him driving around, but he was all see-through, and his car was a ghost, too. i saw his bumper stickers (the save-the-earth type one and the one that says The Little Grill) and started crying, but then he disappeared. so i started frantically searching for his ghost everywhere. i finally found his ghost at the library, in the video section. he didn't say a word, he just stood there looking at me. then some dude behind me asked me for directions to somewhere and when i turned back around, charlie's ghost was gone. so i told this guy that i would show him where this place was (i think it was some sort of bar), got in my car and let him follow me. but i got lost because downtown harrisonburg was suddenly huge, like 4 times as big.
Friday, December 01, 2006
it started out when i was young, maybe 10. i was at a christmas party at my house (although, since this is a dream, it nowhere near resembled the house i actually grew up in). i was in the living room with a bunch of other kids, and one of them was a boy i had a crush on. i don't remember his face or name, only that he seemed somewhat above me and although he knew i was there, he purposely ignored me because i was a few years younger and a girl.
the dream goes on to show me admiring him from afar, watching him with his friends. then flashes forward a few years.
now i am a teenager, maybe 14. another social gathering at my parents' house and again i am admiring him from afar, although it's not just a crush this time, i'm actually in love with him. apparently i look nothing like i really did at that age. since this is a dream, i am somewhat attractive, and although he is again with his friends, playing around and being obnoxious, he starts to notice me a bit more. i still get this feeling that he and i aren't even in the same league, although this impression doesn't come from his attitude. he's grown up and a bit softer, kinder but darker, as if he knows this cosmic secret that could destroy all of mankind, but he's too nice to tell it.
he's reading alone at some point, and i am watching him, hidden. when he leaves, he drops the book by accident and i pick it up and put it in my purse. it's a philosophical book, which makes me appreciate him more. there is something beyond words between the two of us, i can't explain it now, even while i'm awake.
again, flash forward. i am in my twenties now. there are military men in my parents' house. as if they're heroes returning from a war. he is there, one of the heroes but this time no friends around him. he appears constantly troubled, and somehow i know he's keeping a big secret. he's extremely standoffish, although he was the biggest (and youngest) hero of them all. i am in agony seeing him so sad, and i am more in love with him than before.
this is the part that gets blurry.
somehow i approach him and show him his old book i've been treasuring all those years, and this seems extremely important to him, as if he's lost everything he cares about but then finds something that he never lost but never knew he had, which he cares about more than anything. and i guess that was me. hopefully it wasn't the book.
we have a beautiful melancholy romance in secret, because we know we're both misunderstood and no one would accept it. we decide to run away together, but as we decide this, he finds out that he has this top secret assignment which would require moving away from everyone that he knows and loves and cutting off all contact. he decides to sneak me away with him, and my parents help. my mom drives me halfway to his new house, so people will see him leaving alone.
we meet up at this karaoke restaurant. i think all they served was spaghetti. he seems upset, and i find out that he can sense the future, possibly he's a bit psychic. he can't see what is going to happen, but he knows it's going to be bad. i believe him, but go with him anyways, because if something bad was going to happen to him, i wasn't going to let him go through it all alone. so after we eat, i go out to the parking lot and put my bags into his car, and davey and i (yes, i was still a mom in this dream, even though in the dream, i was never with another man) get into his car and off we go.
i can't begin to explain how happy i felt in this dream. even with this foreshadow of disaster, it was bliss. euphoric. like the best drugs ever made.
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