I was driving south on the interstate with...someone. Not sure why. We ended up at a house in Kentucky with three very large and hairy adult redneck sons. Their parents were watching football in the living room. The biggest of them had clogged the toilet and it was backing up the bathroom sink and... the kitchen toilet? The brothers kept going from the bathroom to the kitchen, flushing. When one toilet would flush, the other toilet would back up. There was shit everywhere. Their father came in wearing goggles and holding some sort of toilet vacuum that he said he invented himself. I asked to use it. I resolved the issue. I still didn't know why I was in Kentucky.
Later, I was sitting outside by a river, between a New Year's Eve boat party and a small high school graduation. I'm not sure which I was attending. An off duty New York cop from the boat party pulled me to a picnic table so he had someone sane to talk to, but two big bald men in matching shirts and overalls sat next to us. They both had burns and blisters on the top of their heads. They didn't know each other. It turned out they had both recently been in the same kind of accident at their very similar jobs where they both had chemical burns on their heads that burned off all of their hair. Everyone thought this was the most amazing coincidence, except for the cop, who during the entire conversation had been sighing and rolling his eyes.
After stopping at a red light on the drive home, I noticed three goats (kids) behind a pickup truck which was carrying more goats. I picked up the goats and returned them to the bed of the truck, then picked up my cat, Sammich, who was there in the truck bed with them. I went around and told the little old lady driver, "I rescued your goat children, but I am taking my cat." She told me well done.
